Monday, January 05, 2004

Split Family Values

So, we've started a new weeks lessons. And we're using the method that I started using on Saturday with the timer and 30 minutes per subject. In four hours today we got through 3 days lessons for LA, 1 1/2 days lessons for Spelling, ALL FIVE DAYS lessons for Reading, 2 days lessons for science, and 1 days lesson each Math, History, and Religious Ed.

The Reading this week focuses on contractions. Well after doing one or two with him, he took off. He was able to figure out what all of the contractions should be and what letters the apostrophe takes the place of. I was very proud of him. So, for the rest of the week, to hammer the lesson home, we'll be pointing out the contractions in his books that we read.

Math is a lot of review of the concepts he's learned. So, I'm letting him explore it through his computer game. I really am pleased with it. It's visual, and the mouse makes it tactile as well. He can hear it (from the sound effects). It seems to engage several senses.

History today was the first Indian cities, but we will be quickly moving over to ancient China. I love History, and I hope I can make it real to him. Maybe some museum field trips are in order.

His "California Daddy" has moved again without telling us. Reagan actually wanted to talk to him last night. Which really doesn't happen that often. J. has made himself such a peripheral part of Reagan's life. When I called, the number had changed, and I can't even tell if he's a resident at the new number. I talked with his sister today (who I just love) and she had a cell number. I called it and Reagan left him a message. No child support in six months (then it was $20), not even a phone call since Thanksgiving. Reagan is at an age now where he's starting to understand, and I can't shield him from it anymore.

I actually proposed in an e-mail to J. that he consider giving up his parental rights so that Dominic could adopt him. I worry that if something happened to me Reagan could be taken away from the only family he remembers being a part of. All of this is why you have children AFTER you get married! As hard as I've worked to make a home for my son, there is a reason for God's plan. In reality, I don't see how much would change. J. could still have contact with Reagan and so would his family. It's a little late to change that now, and I wouldn't want to. It's just that Dominic would have the rights that he should have, considering he's the one doing the job.

I know my e-mail was probably very painful for J. who's not a bad person and does love his son. He just has no idea what being responsible for him really means. Maybe this will spur him into action. I can hope so. I've just decided that I can't be responsible for how he feels about it. Someone has to be responsible for taking care of Reagan.

And I'm feeling increasingly anxious as time goes on in my pregnancy. I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me, but I'm increasingly convinced that something is. I don't think it's the baby, I think it's me. And I don't feel depressed exactly, but just not right.

On a lighter note, I've put the kids to bed and the house is quiet (and cleaner every day, thanks FLYlady!). I think I'm going to just sit back and crochet for a bit. Maybe it'll help me unwind.

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