Wednesday, November 17, 2004

All The Leaves Are Brown

I love Fall. I really do. But this is ridiculous. I've had to turn on every light in the house and I still feel down. Between the gloomy days, fatigue, and a messier house (I don't have much energy to pick up) I can feel my mood getting lower and lower. I know it's related to pregnancy but I'm wondering if the seasons don't have anything to do with it, also.

I saw the Doctor today and everything is still checking out fine. Hopefully if all goes well I won't see him again for another month. My favorite nurse was there today and was terribly excited to meet Bridget. And I think my doc enjoyed seeing her again too.

The thing that's frustrating me most right now is that all of the things that normally make me feel good are suddenly unattractive to me, or seem like work. Everything from being close to my husband to going to church. This is a time of uncertainty for me, a time that I should be drawing as close to God as possible for strength, comfort, and wisdom. Suddenly I have no desire for such things. But I know that it is through Him that I will find peace in the storm.

I am so grateful that He gave me Dominic. I don't know how women have babies with men who are creeps. This is a time when we are so vulnerable, and we need more than ever our strong men to lean on. God gave me a really good one. He couldn't be any more loving or kind, or more helpful. I think I did good picking him.

I'm reading Dr. Laura's book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and Dominic actually told me I didn't need it. What a wonderful compliment. I'm still pretty sure I do, but it's wonderful to hear from your husband that you're a good wife.

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