Sunday, November 21, 2004

Marriage, and the Respectful Wife

Last night I was working with a man from Africa. He's been in this country for three years. In that time he has worked hard, become and LPN, and is currently in school to become an RN. He called America "God's Own Country" but fears that people in both countries are losing sight of God.

We began to talk as our shift was winding down, about our hopes for America. I expressed my belief that this is one of the best places to be born a woman. He said to me, "You women here have so much control". He was right in a good way and a bad way. So many women exert a control that is unnecessary over their homes, their spouses, and even their children. But we do have so much control and power that we can exercise in a way that is positive.

I told him that he was right, but that in our home, we have some different beliefs. I told him about our faith, how hard my husband works to take care of us, and how much it means to us that one of us is always there to care for our children. I said that I have a wonderful husband and that he deserves my respect not only in public, but most certainly in his own home. I made it clear that I will not use the power that I have to manipulate the good man to whom I have pledged myself.

This man still so newly in America looked at me with wonder and said, "You are not like other American women." With the current trends, I took that as a compliment. But I know that I am not alone. More and more of us are realizing the care we must take with our best friends, our husbands. More and more of us are realizing that we have a better relationship and receive more respect and adoration when we give it freely to our men.

My husband had worked a 16 hour day on Friday, then he went to work at 3:30 in the morning on Saturday to get in another 8 hours. He did this without any sleep. He only slept for an hour after I left for work. Then the girls got up and he had to get busy being Daddy.

When I got home last night after telling this man about the wonderful husband I married, I found that my house was vacuumed, clothes had been washed and folded. The dishes were washed and put away. The kitchen was clean. All of the children were sound asleep, and my husband was fighting his own fatigue to wait up for me.

I'm not a perfect wife. I'm not a perfect person. But my husband responds to the love I've given him, and gives me so much more in return. Sure flowers, cards, and a seafood dinner would be nice. But I think my husband is the absolute sexiest when he's helped clean the house and taken care of our kids.

I guess I just needed to brag.

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