Friday, January 28, 2005

Baby Kicks

So, I'm not having the best day. My lungs sound all sorts of funky. While at one time I only heard wheezes when I exhaled, now I have wheezing with inhalation and exhalation. Not to mention I can feel the crackling no just in the center of my chest but on my left hand side now. I couldn't get an appointment for when Dominic comes home, so I have to go to urgent care. I feel like crud, and I don't look too hot either. I heard hopefully promising news about an ill loved one, but it far from removed all worry and doubt. I've been having abortion discussions with people who say that abortion SAVES lives. Because a woman who has a baby, well, her quality of life suffers, and that should far outweigh the rights and needs of her baby. Grrr....

And as I'm sitting there pondering how people can look at sonograms with arms and legs and fingers and toes, and still deny that it's a baby, something happened. I was actually starting to think about my own baby who I haven't even been able to really feel yet, but who I know is there and real. I've felt little tiny flutters, but days apart and not that strong. But then I felt it. Thud. I went and got my Bebe Sounds and put it on my ever growing belly. The baby must have tried to kick the thing off a dozen times. I can actually feel Squiggles now, still trying to figure out a way to make the space bigger.

Thank you, Lord, for giving us glimpses of your awesome power when nothing else seems to be quiet right. Thank you for using something as small as my child's kick to wake me up to your presence right here.

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