Saturday, January 01, 2005

Resentment For Your Husband

Pregnancy brings with it all sorts of feelings. Some are physical, some are emotional. All of them, overwhelming. I mean, you know you have a serious case of the pregnancy crazies when Oreo cookie commercials leave you in tears. I saw "Andrew Lloyd Webber's: The Phantom of the Opera" the other day, and I can't tell you what a mess I was after that was over!

One very normal part of this crazy hormone-induced time is resentment aimed squarely at your husband. Sure, he's your soul-mate, the man you love, but he can also walk away from the crazy pregnant lady, and you're stuck with yourself. He can have that glass of champagne, while you're stuck with cider. And his ankles aren't swollen, and his back doesn't hurt, and he's not, well, mildly insane.

One really great way around this resentment is to allow him to carry the baby for you. Since, at least at this point, that is medically impossible, it might help if he would just give up the same things you've had to.

My husband graciously offered to do that the first time we were pregnant. I don't think he lasted a week. I was definitely resentful. At this point I feel like at least one of us should be having fun. And the bigger I get, the more certain I become that person is not going to be me.

To the best of my knowledge the only real cure for this problem is delivery of your baby and the passing of about a year. I think that's really what it takes to begin to get your hormone levels back in check. In the meantime we must remember that our husbands love us, and while carrying babies might be something they'd never want to do, they love us enough to wish to take the burden from us. And that's sweet enough to melt away some of the hard feelings. Remember ladies, we knew this job was dangerous when we took it.

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