Well, Sarah has been in the arms of Jesus for a month. I wonder what it has been like for her. I wonder if she's been getting to know family and friends. I wonder if she's been spending time with the other heaven's babies I've read about. I wonder what it's like to be in the presence of God.
This month on Earth has been like no other I've experienced. It seems my emotional nerve endings are much closer to the surface, and I feel everything a bit more. Three weeks ago we laid our baby to rest. There was snow and ice, and I was so sad that it was cold. So sad that she was cold. So sad that I had lost her.
Today I'm doing okay. I'm still sad, but it's slightly less raw. I'm enjoying my children. I'm keeping busy. I'm still thinking of Sarah a lot. We recieved her naming certificate from church today. It's really lovely.
I can tell you that I'm not the same woman that I was a month ago. I'm a mother who's lost, and I wish I could put into words how that has changed me. I pray every day for the other mother's who've lost, at any age. And I look forward to the day that I will see my daughter again.