I was standing in front of the mirror this morning and suddenly started crying. We should be expecting Sarah in a few more weeks, and I suddenly missed her.
This afternoon we came home from playgroup to a package. It was from Huggies, in anticiption of our new baby, they sent us a bunch of new baby things. I wasn't prepared for that. I lost it again. This time at least Dominic was here. He's so good when that happens.
I've been e-mailing a woman in a very similar situation to mine. I think she went through and read all the old blog posts relating to Sarah, and began checking out the blogs of some of those who had been against my decision. I hope she doesn't torture herself the way I did. Looking back it was easier to fight them. I couldn't fight for Sarah, there was nothing I could do. So I fought them. I wanted them to see my heart. To see how much I loved my daughter.
I think I'm still working out all of the lessons that Sarah taught me. Someday maybe it will all make some sense.
Today I am grateful for my children, my faith, my friends, and the chance to be truly pro-life, which is to be open to the new life that God has chosen to place within me.