Maybe it would be better if I weren't pregnant every single year. But since we've started homeschooling, I have been. And it's meant that burnout has come fairly early in the year.
I don't sleep well, and I have little energy, and less patience. In the past few weeks I've virtually abandoned Reagan to books and personal time. Every year as I go through burnout I also go through the feeling sorry for myself for being the worst mother EVER phase. It's starting to get a little old.
The third trimester of pregnancy, and the post-partum days are probably the time where I struggle the hardest against depression. I was diagnosed with cyclical depression about 12 years ago, and I do fine these days, except for times like these.
I'm not sure what I need more of. Sleep doesn't help. I never feel more refreshed because my sleep is no longer recuperative. Honestly, I need something fresh to get me motivated, and perhaps a new body that doesn't hurt and has energy.
In the meantime, I don't know how much actual schooling we'll be getting done. We'll be watching a lot of educational programming, and of course I'll be encouraging plenty of reading. And on days where I do have the energy, we'll dig into our book work.
In a way, that is the beauty of homeschooling. He's still learning all the time, we can school through the Summer, and we have flexibility.
I think I'm going to be very excited when Ciaran is born. I've been pregnant for so long, I just want my body back. And I'm so excited to meet him. I can really dislike the end of pregnancy and still be happy about the baby.