It was 10 months ago today that Sarah was born to heaven. Today is Christmas, and there is a new baby in our house. One who kindly came a month early, bringing with him a bit of healing for his mother's heart. But, as precious as he is, with children there are no substitutions. No one could ever replace him, and no one can ever replace Sarah.
I don't mean to sound like I'm stuck. I don't think I am. I think I'm doing, and have done remarkably well. And my grief does not define me. I still miss Sarah, but I am so much more than a mother who lost. I just don't want to forget her, or forget anything about her. She was with us so briefly, I have to hold on twice as hard to remember everything.
This Christmas has left me with so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to. It's just that it has also left me looking back at the last year, and how much has been lost. Sarah wasn't the only precious baby lost this year, nor the only loved one. And I'm thinking a lot about them today, and asking them to pray for us, as we miss them.
Merry Christmas and Rest In Peace Grace, Liam, Sarah, Kyle, and Bob (who I know will be looking after our children until we see them again).