I signed up for the FlyLady emails again. I hadn't left the list, but had stopped getting the e-mails because I knew I wasn't going to be home to pay attention to them. After two weeks, my house is slipping right out of my hands and back into CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome).
I've also been allowing myself to get wrapped up in the computer again. The fact is, when my personal life is difficult, the computer is my escape. But it's a downward spiral. I spend time on the computer, the kids feel neglected and begin to act up, I become frustrated with them and want to spend more time on the computer.
Now, knowing this, one would think I'd see the pattern emerging faster. And perhaps I am. I caught on the second day, this time. So, this morning I shut the computer off and got down on the floor with the girls. But I know that the state of the house contributes to my mood, and thus to the moods of the kids, and so I need to be more vigilant about my own actions. I need to keep up on the basics so that I have more time, and feel better in my space.
Seeing the pattern today made me think about God's patience. I learned of the FlyLady system over two years ago, before Bridget was born. I tried it, and it WORKED! It was simple, and it made my life better. And yet, if I'm not persistant, I fall back into old habits. Over and over again it seems to happen. And it happens in multiple areas, this just happens to be the one I noticed today.
I think the pattern exists in many areas of life and faith. We turn and follow God. We follow Him and find that it works, and that He makes our lives better. Then we are distracted by the world, the flesh, and all the pretty colors. Yet our God holds on to us, even as we wander off, just like a good parent. He stays close, gently prodding us until we turn around and follow Him again. When I think of how many faithful there are, and how many times each of us does this, it inspires me.
Thank you, Lord, for never leaving us alone.