Monday, January 14, 2008

Losing the Connection

I'm a mother who believes that we teach our children through a strong connection with them.  That connection starts at birth with attachment tools such as breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, responding to baby's cry, etc.

That connection continues as children get older through time spend together, talk, play, and taking the time to "get behind their eyes" and learn who they are as unique individuals.  Recently, however, I've felt like my connection with Ciaran isn't what it used to be.

I think it's been tough lately for Ciaran and me.  He's becoming more independent all the time, but lacks the communication skills with which to talk to me about what he's doing and learning.  So, I don't converse with him like I do with Reagan or the girls.  And he's no longer bonding with me in the same ways that Quinn is.

Since I don't want him to get lost in the shuffle, I've been spending more time getting down on the floor playing with him, reading to him, and holding him.  Whenever I can put Quinn down, I try to get Ciaran in my arms for some Mommy time.

I think parenting is often about finding the balance, something that's easier said than done.  We balance work and home.  If we stay home we balance cleaning time with family time, kid time with husband time, and then try to find some "mom" time.  But if we keep up our connections, and do our best to stay balanced, we and our families will be better for it.   At least that's what I'm hoping.  Sometimes it's frustrating that we have to wait so long to find out if we did a good job as parents.

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