So, here's a secret that I hear a lot over playgroups and when on the phone with my girlfriends, but don't see a lot on blogs (you know, because we tend to share the good stuff): I'm tired. A lot of us are tired. Me? I've been pregnant or nursing for 7 years with perhaps only a few weeks break here and there. On top of that, like many other moms, I'm homeschooling, shopping, taking the kids on field trips, doing the housework, folding the laundry, trying to keep the garden from looking like it was taken over by villainous chipmunks (okay, I might not be doing such a hot job on that front), making sure my husband is content and cared for, meal planning, cooking, and so much more.
Mothers do it all. And our job isn't from 9-5. It's 24 hours a day, sometimes it feels like longer. Sometimes it can be...relentless. Sometimes, I just want to get in bed and sleep for a week. But, honestly, I'm lucky if I can do it for a day. I've had a cold this past week and spent yesterday in bed (with my amazing Reagan helping me out a ton) but then I paid for it. I spent today cleaning up the disaster that my house became in just that short period of time.
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love being a mom and there was never anything I wanted to do as much as I wanted to have kids and raise them. I enjoy homeschooling and reading with them. I love watching them explore their world. I love baths and jammies and hugs and songs and a thousand other things that make up life in my family. But it's also a huge amount of work and responsibility. And of course, again, I'm pregnant and that takes a toll as well.
So, here's what I'm doing. I'm trying really hard to get in 8 hours of sleep a night. I could probably use more, but 8 hours is a good start and gives me a good base for my day. I'm trying to eat better. More fruits and vegetables and solid grains that will give me energy for the day. I've stopped being so hard on myself. I'm not supermom, I'm not perfect, and I can't do everything. I refuse to let being tired affect my attitude and the feeling in my home. My family doesn't deserve that, and it doesn't make anything better. If I have the chance for a nap, even a short one, I take it. And, most importantly, I'm giving my fatigue to God. He can use everything I do and everything I am, so I'm giving Him the tired. Who knows, maybe He can make something good out of it. I really do hope so.
I know I'm not alone in this. We moms expect a lot from ourselves. And we don't cut ourselves much slack. Not that I can really blame us. What is more important than our families? Of course we want to be our best at that. But I think I'm better with a plan. Especially a plan for the areas in which I need help, like sleep. Speaking of which, I should probably go do that now.
I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.