Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Angry Daughters

I have daughters. Two of them. Piper is six, Bridget is five. They are twenty months apart in age. When I brought Bridget home from the hospital, I couldn't keep Piper away from her. Bridget was her baby as far as she was concerned and she loved her right from the start.

When Bridget was six months old, she started sleeping through the night. At that point we put her in the crib in the room that the kids shared. Piper adored her baby sister so much, she'd climb into the crib with her during the night, and they'd sleep together.

Actually, they'd sleep together anywhere:

They slept together for a very long time. Even now, they still fall asleep together, fairly often. They adore each other. They are best friends. So why is it that two little girls who have loved each other since the moment they laid eyes on each other, can fight so darned much?


This is how I like to see my girls. Unfortunately, these days I'm more often seeing them looking like the picture of the little girls at the top. One throws something, so the other does too, then the first comes to tattle. They fight over where to sit, how much food each one has on their plate, who has the better view of the TV, who gets to play with which doll, which bunk they want to sleep on, who's talking more, when one of them sings, taking turns...the list goes on and on and on!

Right now, I'm counting both of them when there's an argument. And they seem to take turns on who's being ornery, and which one instigates trouble. I expected this stage to come. But I expected it in puberty, not at five and six! I'd say that it's too much togetherness, but I don't think that's the problem. I think they're both in a stage where they want their way, and where they're having to learn to accommodate the wants and needs of others. That's hard work for many adults I know.

I'm trying to view this as an opportunity, once again, to teach service. To teach them to put others first. To consider what God would want us to do, and how God wants us to treat each other. But it's a hard lesson, both to teach and to learn. Perhaps this is where having siblings becomes a good thing. Because they are literally forced to learn it. And hopefully they'll still love each other this much when they're all grown up.


  1. When you get this situation figured out, let me know. We have the same dynamic over here.

  2. Our two boys are very similiar~ I like to think of them as a Construction Zone. A work in progress if you will. It can be noisy and not so pretty looking but were training them up in the Lord and I lean on what the bible says in Phillipians1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phillipians 1:6. I am sure as your girls mature in the Lord so will they bloom in their relationship! The pictures are too cute! Thanks for sharing...Blessings :-)

  3. my sister and i are 15 months apart and have always been best friends. we sometimes bicker, but we know how to forgive and how to disagree respectfully. i think that your girls are at the perfect age to really begin to understand how to argue with respect--and to learn to always forgive.

    they are blessed to have one another :D

  4. I have two boys close in age and two girls. Lots of bickering going on here. My boys are either the best of friends or at each others throats. I hope my girls are close one day, right now they seem just to tolerate each other.

  5. It's nice to know I am not alone in this kind of situation. Mine are 20 and 17, though, so are past this. They are two VERY different people, but they can talk and laugh and relate to each other. My soon to be 10 year old feels (or used to) kind of left out of their world, so that is another issue I need to be sensitive to.

  6. I was much younger than my older siblings, three of which were my mother's from a previous marriage. I always felt left out, like they were a group I wasn't a part of. I know my mother was sensitive to it (or at least is now) but I wish my siblings had been made aware. The sister closest to me in age was my father's from a previous marriage, but she lived with her mother, so I didn't see her as often. We're close now, though. We have a relationship that has many of the benefits of sister-hood without some of the baggage.

  7. oh, i love this post. The two babies in the crib melted my heart. Darling.

    Scout and Princess are 18 months apart and that bond is amazing. They were 2 peas in a pod for so long. Then, for a few years, nothing but conflict. I was so dissappointed!

    But then at around age 10 and 11.5 there was a turn around...back to adoring each other.

    i am sure that from this point on, we will have ups and downs...I am cherishing this up!


I love comments!