Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Mommy Gossip


I've been blogging for a while now and I've lost my naive belief that what I say on my blog is mine.  I know better.  I've seen and been victim to the "hate" blog.  The kind of blog that pops up, borders on stalking, and has no other purpose than to be mean and judgmental.  

For some reason I find this problem more with Mommy Blogs than with any other genre.  What is it about us women that encourages such spite within us?

I'm not above gossip.  I've done my fair share, believe me.  One of my favorite quotes is from Dixie Carter and roughly states that any gossip is fine amongst women as long as it's followed with "bless her heart."  an idea I've happily taken to.  But, largely, I believe the best about people and don't see malice until it's right in front of me.  Usually when it slaps me.  I might be a little slow like that.

For a while, the understanding that what I put on my blog was no longer mine, hindered my belief that I could speak freely here.  I debated shutting it down or making it private.  Why should my bad day be a point on which to pass judgement on me as a whole?  But I think I must be getting older and more secure with myself, because I don't care as much anymore.  After all, someone is always going to dislike me or judge me.  It's the way of the beast.  And why should I care?  I'm more than the sum of my parts. I'm more than my flaws.  And their poor opinion of me doesn't actually make much of a difference in how I live my life.

So, while people may judge, or gossip, I'm going to blog anyway.  I'm going to keep believing the best of people because I'm better that way.  The alternative for me, just isn't worth it.  

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  1. "What is it about us women that encourages such spite within us?"

    I have always wondered this.

  2. Yay, you go girl!! I think you're awesome and really that's all that matters. ;)

  3. I love your blog Anne! I found a link to it over on GCM, and have been hooked. Please keep blogging away. I really missed your "voice"!


  4. I'm a new reader here but I love your blog! I think it takes a lot of integrity and courage to write as honestly as you do and I' find it inspiring! There are always people out there who want to drag others down, don't let them do it to you.

  5. I once tried starting a blog on internet interactions and how emotions seem to get crazily intensified at times online. But I realized I just didn't have enough of a knowledge base in psychology or counseling to pull that kind of idea off.

    Things I've seen that I can't stand (in no particular order, and I'm guilty of some of these things) --

    When the majority of people tend to "pile on" a lone voice of dissent or balance;

    When an opposing view is treated as the result of a character defect (think Tim Bayly bashing Tim Keller, which is actually quite humorous to read, and doesn't hurt Tim Keller in the least, I'm quite sure);

    When the moderators or blog owners tend to give the regular contributers (their online friends) a pass on lacking in clarity and charity when said friends are really shredding people or institutions the blog owners disagree with (not talking reasonable disagreement here);

    When people make blanket statements about the intelligence and character of everybody on the opposing side of an issue, as though the opposition are lemmings and the commenters are the truly independent thinkers.

    When the lone voice asks questions that are not answered except as a savage character attack (I'm thinking of a specific example here);

    And when the lone voice, after not being answered, is somehow to be held accountable to the group to answer them, not just once, but repeatedly.~

    I placed my blog on moderation, in part on account of seeing someone in blogs I frequent, trying to resurrect an old conflict between a few parties, which was a conflict she had nothing to do with, and did not become privy to until several years later. I basically told her I had enough problems at the time with said conflict; it appeared to have died out, which it should have, and that she needed to take her concerns some place else. And she did. A few days later I saw her on a rather well-known blog, writing comments against someone, on a post that was well over a year old. It had very little to do with the original blog post, and had mostly to do with this conflict. I saw her on at least three blogs, trying to make comments on long gone posts.

    It disturbed me that this person should want to do what looked like resurrect a nasty internet fight. Something was out of balance there. Unbiblically so.

    At any rate, why people tend to do what they do at times is beyond me, and especially when the behavior strikes me as irrational, crowd-like behavior, obsessive at times, coming from people who are professed Christians.

  6. Good for you! I find myself censoring myself all the time. But, what's the point of writing if you can't write the truth?

  7. How mean some people can be. Sorry you had to deal with the meanness.... but good for you to keep going =)


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