Wednesday, April 13, 2011

To Train Up A Parent

An Open Letter To Michael Pearl:

Hey, Mr. P.  I'm sure you don't know me at all since you rarely deign to speak to your critics.  Your followers show up from time to time, though, when I when I write about you.  They try, valiantly, to defend you.  Honestly, for the life of me, I can't understand why.

You don't just teach about how to train up children.  You essentially train up parents, too.  You train them to ignore every instinct they have to love and protect their kids.  You train them to punish and condition their children in a way that is totally out of proportion to what they deserve, and offers no temperance, no grace, no mercy.  You train them to set their own children up to fail, and to whip them when they do.

You tell women that it's "Godly" to stay with child molesting husbands, to only report physical abuse if they leave bruises lasting longer than two hours, and to forgive all because "God hates divorce".  In fact, you tell women that the time their husbands might spend in prison for the abuse of their family, is a time to work on the "romance".  That made me throw up in my mouth a little.  What an ignorant and misogynistic thing to say.  Do you know what that means, Mr. Pearl?  Should I make the words smaller for you?    It probably doesn't matter since you've already decided that those who disagree with you just plain aren't Godly.  I'm okay with that.

You, your wife, and your organization pervert the teachings of a Peaceful Christ, to teach the abuse of women and children.  It's disgusting, and you should be ashamed of yourself.  I read on your website, how you have attributed your negative publicity, not to the deaths of children like Lydia Schatz (who died after being whipped with the plumbing line you recommended), or the many legitimate issues with the things you've said over the years, but to the Lesbians and leftists who are maliciously misrepresenting you.

Well, Mr. P, though I'm sure you could find many reasons to hate a woman like me, I would chose to stand with the Lesbians and the leftists any day of the week rather than overgrown, pompous, self-righteous, and deluded bullies like yourself.  What you teach is wrong.  And you should beg those you've harmed for forgiveness.  Not that you ever would, of course.  You strike me as a man too proud for that kind of thing.  I wonder if you could manage to fall to your knees for the Jesus you claim to believe in.

Unless there's any further news, this will be the last I write of you.  You and all you stand for disgust me.  That this is actually an issue for discussion among people who are faithful to a loving God, disturbs me even more.  I can't imagine Jesus telling people to buy quarter inch plumbing line to keep around the house for beating their children with.

One day, I hope you shut up.  Not because I particularly care anymore about what you have to say, or how you defend your bullshit methods.  More because I know that someone, somewhere will keep reading what you have to say, and I'd hate for more innocent children to die because you're an arrogant ass.


  1. Yes, yes and YES! I especially love this part:

    "That this is actually an issue for discussion among people who are faithful to a loving God, disturbs me even more. I can't imagine Jesus telling people to buy quarter inch plumbing line to keep around the house for beating their children with. "

  2. Wahoo! Bravo! Amen!

  3. His twisted theology has given birth to one of the most abusive parenting models out there... all dressed up in a cloak of self-righteousness. It's as if he equates the "training" of children with the training of animals. He goes to extremes and his pride and arrogance in being RIGHT is more important to him than the gentle lives he promotes terrorizing.

  4. Oh god, I wonder if I heard this guy on the radio before. course he prob isn't the only guy out there telling women it is a sin to leave their husband no matter what he is doing. Yeah, throw up in my mouth a little at that too.

    Thanks for commenting on my blog, and I will be adding yours to my "reading" list. lol

  5. @LouAnne- he does equate the training of children with the training of animals. Cuz hey, if its good enough for my dog its good enough for my own flesh and blood!

  6. Honestly, I wouldn't want to see the Pearl's methods used on animals either. Regardless, people and animals while both being alive and deserving of some respect, are not the same and should not be brought up the same way. He ideas are wrong on so many levels

  7. Hooray for lesbians and leftists!

  8. I read somewhere a study which showed that dogs actually respond better to rewards rather then punishment. So Mike is even wrong about DOGS!! Obviously, you know that I don't think these techniques should be used on animals any more then they should be used on kids.

    I was reading a story out of NGJ3 tonight where Debbie Pearl "trained" someone else's child. The 6 year old was playing with one of the rods she'd left lying around the house. She took the rod from him and hit his hands with it. I think he was also play with her glasses. She took the rod and walked away but the kid went for her glasses again. So, she hit him again. This went on, of course, until he left her glasses alone. All I could think was that if this woman or ANYONE hit my child with a rod, a stick, a spoon or whatever, I'd have them arrested for assault. She said she had permission from the boy's father but she also said the father didn't know what she was going to do. Absolutely outrageous and totally illegal.

    Anne, isn't spanking with anything illegal in Minnesota? I know that spanking with any implement other then one's hand is illegal in California. Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz could've gone to prison just for using the plumbing line regardless of what happened physically to their children.

  9. In Minnesota, a number of years back, there were a series of laws passed that, when put together, made spanking illegla. But I looked it up more recently and found a news article about how the laws had been overturned.

    Honestly, even if I weren't anti-spanking, I would still be really careful. To be honest, I have a five year old with Autism who hurts himself frequently, two small-for-their-age little boys, and a non-mainstream parenting style. I don't want CPS knocking on my door.


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