Sunday, June 12, 2011

I'm Still Pregnant

This is not me now.  This was a picture I took at 29 weeks pregnant with Brennan.  

Dear Liam,

I love you so much.  I've loved you since you surprised me with a positive pregnancy test.  I loved you when I first noticed that I was growing bigger after losing 50 pounds.  I loved you when I felt you move for the first time.  I loved you when they told me you had an encephalocele.  But, I was very scared.

You are such a strong little boy.  Somehow you've managed to beat all the odds.  I wonder if you will be as fearless on the outside as I imagine you are on the inside.  I think I imagine that you're so fearless since, like I said, I've been so scared.  

You've continued to grow and thrive and do absolutely everything we've asked of you.  So now, I have a few more requests.  Listen carefully.  

  • Please stop making my uterus contract.  It's too soon, and it's exhausting.  Not to mention unnecessary.  You're being born via c-section.
  • Please stop hitting me in sensitive areas.  My cervix is not for punching, and my bladder is not a trampoline.  
  • Please wait at least another week to be born.  35 weeks is even better than 34 weeks.  Not only will you have beaten Brennan in the who-can-stay-in-Mommy-longer contest (and how often will you get to one up your older brother?) but by then your sister Karina will be here, and I won't have to ask so many people to come and help us.  
  • Please sleep when I do.  I'm getting dark circles under my eyes because I'm so uncomfortable and you apparently think there's a circus whenever I lie down.
  • Please calm down when I move, and move when I sit still.  This is how the other fetuses do it.  You can too.  
Please come out and be okay.  I know you can get through surgery without frightening me anymore.  Right?  Right!

I love you and I'm excited to meet you.  I can't wait to see your fingers and toes and look you in the eyes and see you for everything you are.  I'm sad that I won't get to keep you with me every second and bring you right home to the family that will love you as much as I do.  But I'm so glad that such good people are going to take care of you.  And I won't be far away.  




  1. I love this post. Sweet, poignant, and humourous. Will be praying little Liam obeys his Mommy and stays put for another week or so. And is nice to you in the meantime.

  2. Shall I declare Murphy's Law on this one?


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