Sunday, August 31, 2014

Motherhood Can Be Lonely

 photo 9135Stressed-is-Desserts-Posters_zps57d303e6.jpg
Image from and what she's making looks delicious! 
I want to write about all the ways that motherhood can be lonely and isolating. But to tell you the truth, the list is long, and just plain boring. Who wants to hear all that?

I mean, we've all been there. When you're trying to figure out life with a newborn and you're exhausted all the time. So, you're not going out to concerts and shows, like you used to when you were carefree.

Or when your toddler really has to be asleep by 8 o'clock, or she hits her angry zone and is just impossible. So you're not going out for drinks with friends anymore, and you wonder if she might be 18 before you see adult type people again.

Or even better, when you have kids with special needs, and your friends don't understand anymore, or worse, don't want to. It's painful for them, and to be honest, sometimes it's painful for us too. Especially when your friends have kids the same age, and you can see all the things that your child could be/should be/would be doing, if it weren't for this issue. Then you feel like even your mom friends are a million miles away.

I'm kind of there again, right now. I feel like my house kind of falls apart if I'm not there and on top of things. And my friends all seem to be ridiculously busy. Jobs, kids' schools, extra-curricular activities, it's so hard to find time that we're available, and not stressed out.

So, here's what I've learned. Most of us are going to have times where we feel lonely. But we can't live in that place. It's sucks, and it won't help us be better at home.

We have to figure out what we want. What will help us? Need a regular chat with a friend? Ask them. Need to have coffee with someone? Ask them. Can't go out and need someone to come visit you? Ask them.

Because, it turns out, we have the right to ask for what we need, too.  Granted, your toddler may not understand if you stamp your foot and say, "But I want Starbucks without you!". But your girlfriends will. They'll understand completely. And I don't know about you, but I need my girlfriends.

So grab a glass of wine, or cucumber water (because it's amazing) and call your girlfriends. Mine recharge my batteries and remind me that I am more than just an arbiter of pint-sized squabbles, and the keeper of the pantry lock code. Which I am. I'm so much more. I'm also the folder of laundry, and fixer of broken things.

I'm amazing. And so are you!


Thank you for hanging out with me here and helping me feel less lonely. The internet can be an awesome community that way. If you like what I write, click the link below which registers a vote for me, would you? Thanks. You're the best!
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  1. I wish we were local to each other :(

    1. Did you know that we've been friends for 22 years? I miss your face. Lots.

  2. I was just talking to a dear friend about how every single one of us needs a "life outside our lives." Anyone who needs it understands what it means. It's not that we don't love our home, our everydays, our family... It's just that, every now and again we need the batteries of our individual Selves recharged. I do it a bit of Bailey's on the rocks or homemade green tea. ;-)

    1. Baileys sounds particularly good right now...


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