There could be so very many reasons for this. Maybe she thinks I'm loud. Maybe she thinks I'm obnoxious.
Maybe she's wildly threatened by my stunning good looks and witty banter.
Okay, so it's definitely not that last one.
But she doesn't talk to me. Not like she does other people in our shared circle.
I could ask her about it, and I've been tempted to.
While I'm not confrontational by nature, I tend to be someone who would much rather know what's on the table, than not.
But I'm probably not going to. Mostly because I doubt she'd be honest about it. This is Minnesota, where polite will win out over almost anything else. Sometimes really polite people have no idea how to say, "No, it's true, I just don't like you. And it's because..."
Just to be clear, it's not that I've spent an inordinate amount of time wondering about what this woman is thinking of me, but it comes up every now and then, and today I realized something.
I saw on social media that she was listening to Needtobreathe, a Christian band. They actually sing a song I really like called "Washed by the Water". Yes, I still like my old Christian Rock and listen to it from time to time.
Anywho, I realized that she goes to a pretty conservative, fundamentalist church, and it occurred to me that while I don't walk around in a tall pointy hat carrying a wand, I don't exactly hide being Pagan under a bushel, either. I might have a Pagan Pride sticker on the back of my van, for example. And maybe one with a few pentacles.
It's totally subtle...sort of.
And I am proud.
I'm proud of my peaceful earth religion that recognizes the divine in everyone, and seeks to respect the earth and the creatures that live together on it.
But maybe she has no idea what I believe in. Maybe she thinks I'm a devil worshiper. Maybe, even if she doesn't think that, she thinks that whatever it is that I believe, is a kind of spiritual warfare for her, and that she'd best keep her distance.
Maybe she thinks I'm dealing with dark forces. And, you know, I was going to, but then I had to run to a parent-teacher conference, and send out some e-mails, and walk the dog. So, you know. Maybe tomorrow.
In other words, maybe she doesn't like me, because I'm a Pagan.
I could be 100%, totally wrong. But it feels right. I feel like I finally stumbled on to something. And I get that, for some people, if you're not for Jesus, you're against him. And the thing is, I'm a big fan of Jesus. Sadly, that's just not good enough for some.
But what are you gonna do, you know? I've always hoped that I could sort of be an ambassador for my faith in my community. I'm just a mom, like any other mom, trying to raise her kids as best she can, and be true to herself.
I'm on the PTO, and getting involved in local politics.
I care about our community.
On my holidays, I don't go to a big building with loads of other people. It's often just our family, in a circle, with simple music, simple food, and simple ritual.
Honestly, if the real issue with me is my faith, all I can do is what I've been doing. So, I will keep treating her the way I would want to be treated, with warmth and kindness. And maybe someday she'll ask me about it. And maybe I'll have the chance to explain. Not to change her mind, but just to foster some mutual respect.
I'm a big believer in that too.
You know who else I have a deep respect for? People who read my blog. You guys are seriously some of the best people around. Thank you for all of your encouragement. And if you like my blog, please, click the link below which registers a vote for me, would you? Thanks.