I'm not sure if I need to look a little harder at the scale and get motivated to stop eating popcorn on Sundays, or if I need to stop looking at the damned scale, and just take care of myself.
I was skinny, once. Really skinny. For a long time, actually.
I didn't think my weight was ever something I would worry about. I could throw down a Big Mac, Large Fries, and a Coke, and never see a shift on the scale.
But then again, I didn't do that very often. I walked a lot, and I didn't eat much. I ate what I wanted, but I ate with my stomach, not my eyes.
And those eyes had never seen the amazing fried cheese they have in Minnesota. Cheese, obviously battered in crack cocaine, and deep fried. It's so good.
Sorry, I got lost in my story
So! Having babies threw everything out of balance. And not just the stupid scale, which prompted a nurse practitioner to once tell me my weight gain was only normal if I were having a 30 pound baby.
I didn't like her.
Having babies threw everything out of balance. My metabolism, my appetite, my dress size. So, naturally, I had more.
After Brennan was born, I got most of it off.
Just in time to get pregnant with Liam.
Liam's 3 now. And I've gotten a lot of weight off. Like 60+ pounds of weight.
But what is my ideal weight? Is it what I weighed before I had kids? Because I don't know that 110-115 pounds is achievable. Is it 125? Is it 130, which is where I've been for over a year now? Granted, I put on a couple of pounds if I indulge in popcorn, but 130 is never hard to get back to.
And what's healthy? I'm not obese anymore. I'm not even overweight anymore. My waist-to-hip ratio is good. My body fat is a little higher than I'd like. But I just don't know what's reasonable for me anymore.
I'm not even sure what I want. Do I want to be skinny? Just healthy? Do I want to lose those last places of fat that just haven't quite let go? And who do I want to lose that for? Does anyone besides me even care?
I do know a few things.
I want to be able to run a lot farther without getting tired.
I want my kids to be proud of me, and I want to set good examples on healthy eating and exercise.
So, I'm going to keep eating right, and maybe cut down on the popcorn, which never makes me feel good.
And I'm going to focus on my running. I'm thinking if I do that, the few extra pounds will take care of themselves, and if they don't, at least I'm going to be stronger.
I will happily take any encouragement you have to offer. And fried cheese. Wait! No. No fried cheese. You should keep that. But if you like my blog, please click the link below which registers a vote for me, would you? Thanks. You're better than fried cheese.