I thought about blogging about how nice it was just to watch my kids for a few days without worrying about getting a bunch of things done.
But the truth is, while it was nice, it's not like I had some earth-shattering revelation that gave me some grand insight on motherhood.
We all just had a break from real life for a few days.
Then I thought about how I feel like an underachiever because most all of the moms I know are doing so much more in the community than I am, with sports teams and committees, and such.
But then I thought, screw that. Most of them also have 2 or 3 kids, and I have more than double their number, so as long as I can get them to bedtime with no trips to the ER and we all still love each other, I'm going to call it a win. Especially since I am an involved parent, and I'm doing as much as I can.
Seriously, sometimes parenthood is sort of my zen. I hit my stride and just keep moving, and everything flows just like it should.
Other times, I'm left at the end of the day feeling like our lives are a freight train, and I'm holding on my my fingertips.
I do sometimes wonder if there wasn't some master maternal organizational class, and I missed it. If that's the case, I'd love to borrow someone's notes.
Lately, I've had more freight train days than zen ones.
Don't get me wrong. I adore the everloving crap out of my kids. Their surprise sneak hug attacks alone are sometimes the very best part of my day. And the bonus of having seven kids, is that I get a lot of those.
I just haven't felt like I've been doing a very good job. And it's one of those things where it seems like the harder I try to do everything right, the more I feel like I'm just not doing a good enough job.
But you know who doesn't seem to notice the abject failure I'm so sure I have been?
They tell me how much they love me. That they still think I'm in the running for that never-gonna-happen Mother of the Year award. And that they want to spend time with me.
You know, maybe that's really where we should look to decide how well we're doing.
Are our kids happy? Are they safe? Do they know that they can talk to you about anything? Do they know that their feelings will be respected? Are they turning into good people who respect others?
Screw the rest of it. I have my own set of skills and abilities, and I'm doing the best I can, which is all any of us can do. And we can measure our success in the faces of the kids who love and trust us.
Guess I ended up getting some insight after all. Maybe it wasn't grand, but it's important. Because being good enough is a theme that repeats itself often in my life, and I'm guessing other mom's lives as well.
And damn it, I'm good enough. Not perfect, but good enough.
You know who is also good enough? You. Thanks for reading, and if you like my blog, please click the link below which registers a vote for me, would you? Thanks. You're the best!