Sunday, November 30, 2014

Knock Knock, Nevermind.

There are certain things that can be annoying with children.

Things like, not being able to go to the bathroom alone, or have five minutes uninterrupted in your room, or explaining what's for dinner (repeatedly), or the fact that they want dinner every single night. I mean, what's up with that nonsense?

Most of my friends understand that annoyance when it's multiplied by two or three.

Of course in my house it's multiplied by seven, and I have apparently failed in teaching the most basic of skills, as I realized today that none of my children seem to know how to knock on a damn door.

I didn't think it was hard. You lift your fist and make contact with your knuckles. They tell Knock Knock jokes, so clearly they are at least familiar with the concept.

Honestly, maybe I shouldn't even have doors that close.

I could just install a revolving door, allowing them all to come in and go out with greater efficiency. And without all the pesky harping from me about the importance of knocking.

I've started to think of things I could do that might disturb them enough so that they'll never think of walking in unannounced again.

Like naked yoga.

But that won't work on all of them. The littles especially, do not care about nudity. I blame their hippie mother for that.

So instead I've just kept reminding them over and over and over again. I think I have reminded children of all ages to knock about twenty times each. I had to remind one of them while I wrote this blog post.

It's not usually this bad, but I have a nasty cold and have spent the majority of the day in my room, not resting, because no one will give me five minutes to myself, and no one knows how to knock.

So, I need sleep. I need medicating. I need a glass of wine. And I might need to tattoo instructions on my face. Of course that won't help the ones who can't read.

Maybe I'll just put up a sign for myself instead:

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