Friday, November 14, 2014

Sometimes The Big Challenges Are The Little Things...

As a parent, I have faced many challenges. But few challenges have made me feel as inept as the one I currently face with Liam....

Diaper changes. 

You were expecting something more serious, I'm sure. But I am serious. Changing this child is an exercise's probably really just exercise.

He can get violent, too. Liam actually kicked me in the throat the other day while I was trying to wrestle him into a new pull-up.

Now, I don't want to give you the wrong idea, here. There are things that are harder than changing Liam. You know, like...performing brain surgery..on yourself. That's probably a little harder.

It's just, he thrashes around like a small rabid monkey on crank, and if you, by some random stroke of luck, manage to get one foot in, then he will immediately pull it out as soon as you reach for his other foot.

And damned if he's not fast. It's like wrestling a really strong octopus, sometimes. A strong, kicking octopus.

If it were just the pull-up, we'd probably be okay. I mean, we'd be tired and shaken by the sheer force of nature that is a determined 3 year-old. But we'd be okay.

But that's not all. No. It's Minnesota. And it's turned cold.

To send this child to school in the morning I have to wrestle him into a pull-up, then pants, then socks, then snow pants, then boots. By the time I'm done, I need an ice pack and a shot of tequila.

Things I would rather do, include:
  • Giving birth while simultaneously passing kidney stones.
  • Interacting with the IRS
  • Having an intellectual discussion with Michelle Bachman
  • And
  • Being stranded on a desert island with nothing to listen to except Justin Bieber albums
It can't be like this forever though, right? He'll potty train someday, won't he? I'd love to ponder this further, but unfortunately, I have to change Liam and get him ready for bed. 

I'm too old for this shit. But he's ridiculously cute. So, I'll keep doing it.

It's possible that I'm exaggerating, but I have to tell you, it doesn't feel like it. So, take some pity on a tired and sore mom, and click the banner below which casts a vote for my blog. It means a lot to me. Thank you!
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