Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The Perfection Dilemma

There is a running theme I'm reading all over the place, including my own blog: Perfection.

How do I fold the perfect fitted sheet? How do I make the perfect holiday cookies? How do I plan the perfect birthday party for my kids?

Fueled by Pinterest and Supermommy Blogs, we are being fed this idea that anything ordinary, is somehow doing a great disservice to our kids and our families.

Beth of Manic Mumbling, sweetly sent me an e-mail (which I finally read today since I've been too busy/tired to even check my email) wondering why I hadn't blogged in a while. She noted that some of my recent posts have been about being sick and overwhelmed. Which is true. But I don't think I'd realized it was coming out so much in my blogging.

I'm sick, and tired, and so very tired of being sick and tired. I didn't even have the energy today to answer Beth. (Which I'm doing it here. Hi, Beth! Thanks for the e-mail, I really appreciated it!)

But when I thought on it a little more, I realized that being tired and overwhelmed is something that I read about everywhere, on all kinds of blogs. And I think it's just a symptom of the perfection problem.

Where did we get this idea that our kids will only be happy if everything is perfect. or magical, or magically perfect?

Our kids don't care if we make them lunches that could be photographed for a magazine. They care that there's food that makes them feel loved.

They don't care if the living room looks like a Martha Stewart catalog. They care if they can curl up on the couch with us and snuggle.

They don't care if they have a different activity every day of the week. They want to have fun with the people who care about them and know that we care about what's happening in their lives.

Of course, if doing a thousand things makes you happy and fulfilled, there's no judgement here. I wish you all the best. And any extra wonderful goodies and handicrafts you make will be totally loved over here if you want to share.

But if you're like me, if you're overwhelmed trying to be everything to everyone, and it's making you feel like a near constant failure, don't feel guilty about taking a step back. I don't think we need to do more. I think we just need to be there.

I mean 99% of the time, I have my hair brushed and my bra on, long before noon. So, I'm winning, I think.

So, let's make a resolution. Let's stop trying to do so much, and try to connect more. Let's ask more questions, let's snuggle more with our kids. Let's make sure we know what their dreams are, and their fears too. Let's make sure we take time to look in their eyes every day and remind them that they are loved.

If you had time to read my blog, you're winning too. And, if you liked it, click the link below which registers a vote for me, would you? Thanks. You're the best!
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